Have you heard? November 17 was declared National Unfriend Day. Jimmy Kimmel created this oh-so-necessary social media holiday, and I am totally on board. It's time to trim the Facebook fat!
According to Jimmy, you should unfriend someone on Facebook if:
- You wouldn't loan them $50
- You wouldn't invite them to your birthday party
- You wouldn't cry if they got hit by a bus
Pretty simple stuff. Basically - if you don't know the person or care about them (like, in real life), then chances are they don't need to be on your list of virtual friends.
Currently, I have 539 Facebook friends. I certainly don't know 601 people. And I definitely don't like 539 people. lol
How did I end up with 539 friends, you ask? Because I am a Facebook pioneer. I joined the website in 2004, when FB was brand-spankin'-new. At the time it was strictly for college kids, and we used it to stalk everyone on campus. We gave away our virtual friendship like a freshman virgin, drunk at her first frat party (sorry, family, I know that was foul). For example: if you met a bunch of weirdos at a party one Tuesday night, within a few hours you'd be F.F.F. (Facebook Friends Forever), even though you'd probably never see them in person ever again. That's just how we rocked it in '04.
Fast forward to 2011...
We're "grown-ups" now, and anyone can get a Facebook account. We decided to delete the countless albums of embarrassing party pics, because somewhere along the way we realized that maybe we'd like to get professional jobs someday, get married, have kids and maybe (just maybe) act a little more like adults. And, plus, we're Facebook friends with our parents now. Oh and our grandparents, Our siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, Our bosses, Our co-workers, High school classmates and That bunch of weirdos from those parties (whose pictures of drunken silliness have been replaced by photos of weddings and newborn babies).
It's feeling a little outta control.
So, yes, I will participate in National Unfriend Day. Actually, I'm launching a full blown audit of my Facebook account. To those of you I leave behind - I'm sorry. I doubt you'll notice though. 'Cause I don't know you, and you don't know me. It's time to say goodbye, virtual friends. It's been real. Actually it hasn't been real at all
